Pet Story: I Willed my Heart to Beat Again –
By Wayne Halm –
The golf course just aerated, and I don’t want to write about unplayable greens – so I’m calling this a golf story. Just go along with it. And understand, on Kauai wild chickens are everywhere – in the woods, in the fields, in peoples yards, along side the roads, in the parking lots, on the golf courses – everywhere.
Now for the story — A Dog – a Chicken – and a Golfer.
A while back I had house guests – house guests with two toddlers. The little ones were fun, but they were all over the floor and into everything. Their mother was a fanatic about germs and constantly washed their hands with disinfectant wipes.
Just before daylight one morning I went downstairs, let the dogs out, started coffee, and considered what to do about breakfast.
Before the coffee was ready Sonny ran back in – with a huge chicken in his mouth! He dropped it on the kitchen floor and looked up at me. I think his expectation was, “I killed it – you cook it”.
But my only thought was, “Take care of this before anyone sees its germ laden carcass.” I got a paper grocery bag, dropped the limp chicken in it and took it outside to the garbage can. Then I mopped the floor, gave Sonny a cookie, poured my coffee, and turned on the TV news – all before anyone else came down stairs. I had gotten away with it! I was secretly proud of my self – nobody knew and things went well.
The next morning I again went downstairs, let the dogs out, and started coffee. That morning I had decided we would have bacon and cheese grilled sandwiches for breakfast, and put the bacon in the microwave.
Before the coffee was ready Sonny again ran back in – no chicken this time, he just smelled the bacon. I gave him a piece and had the sandwiches ready when everyone came down.
The sandwiches were a big hit. Everyone liked them and they were easy enough for the toddlers to handle. Predictably, the toddlers would take two bites and feed the rest to the dogs. Their mother washed and scolded, but of course they just did it again. While this drama was going on I took out a bag of garbage.
When I opened the garbage can lid – the chicken flew out in my face! This startled me – no, to be honest – this scared me senseless, my mind froze, my legs failed me, and I sank silently to the pavement. I’m not proud of that.
But I am proud of what I did next – I prioritized. First, I willed my heart to beat again. Only then did I concentrate on remembering how to breathe. With those under control again, I practiced walking. It took a few minutes but I was able to go back inside and act as if nothing had happened. I had gotten away with it again! Nobody knew anything about the chicken and its germs – things continued normally.
I don’t believe in “chicken ghosts” or in “chicken resurrection” – so that chicken must have been “playing possum” when Sonny brought it in. And now enough time has passed, the toddlers are doing fine, and I can tell the story – time really does cure all.
Time will also cure the greens and I will be back on the course soon.
Come play golf with me.
Two other stories about my dogs are linked below: