Golf Story: The Mean Green Machine –
By Wayne Halm –

Since I drive the Mustang to the golf courses, I’m going to qualify this as a golf story.

My wife, Sally, bought the Mustang when she lived on Lanai.  Her Mean Green Machine, she calls it.  Now, it’s been a while since it was the hottest car in the islands.  But it did have its day.

Soon after she got it I flew over there to visit Sally and her Golden Retriever, Annie.  They rented a cottage up on the side of the mountain under the pine trees.  The dog loved it.

On my first morning there Sally told me, “Lani may come over this afternoon to walk Annie.”  I nodded agreement and she went off to work.

Late that afternoon, a huge shiny blue pickup truck with monster tires and more chrome than a Cadillac rumbled up the driveway.  That truck would have done any southern boy proud, but that’s not all.

Out of the truck hopped a drop dead gorgeous young lady, trim yet full of curves.  A brief pink tee shirt covered her shoulders and breasts but left her toned stomach exposed.  Low on her hips tight white shorts somehow remained in place.  Her long black hair was pulled back into a ponytail that swayed in rhythm with her hips as she walked toward me – by this time those same southern boys would have forgotten all about the truck.

“Hi Wayne, I’m Lani. Sally said I could walk Annie. If that’s alright?” she said.

Annie rushed out, stood beside her tanned shapely legs, and looked up at me.  Of course it was alright.  I watched them walk the path through the woods until I couldn’t see those white shorts anymore.

That evening I asked Sally, “What’s with Lani and Annie?”

“Lani is going to be in the Homecoming Parade,” she replied.

I realized that Sally knew all about Homecomings, and I could see how Lani could be in the Homecoming Parade, but it didn’t really answer my question.  I guess that showed on my face.

“The parade is in two weeks.  She can either ride in her brother’s truck or the Mustang.  She’s working on getting the Mustang.  It’s a girl thing,” she explained.

Even in my low voltage head, the light bulb lit up.  So here is a tip for you younger guys – Monster truck or Mustang convertible? — duh?  (Now for you older right handed golfers – when putting, try consciously pressing your left thumb on the grip, the ball should roll truer.)  But enough with the tips – back to Lani.

For six more days I got to watch Lani and her shorts come over and walk Annie – yes, I’m smiling.

Sadly, I was gone and missed the parade. Happily, I kept the memory of Lani.

Come play golf with me.

Sally's cottage on Lanai.  This really was country living.  Aside from Lani, the only visitors were deer and wild turkeys.

Sally’s cottage on Lanai. This really was country living. Aside from Lani, the only visitors were deer and wild turkeys.


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